"Eat to live, don't live to eat" - Ben Franklin [entries|friends|calendar] Colqhoun [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Cooking with colqhoun! Where Cannibalism isn't just fun, it's healthy! [07 Mar 2007|01:28am] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Kronos- Dinner Music for a Pack of Hungry Cannibals ]   Cooking with human feet First, in a large pot place the human feet and cover with water. Put in oven at 350 and let it go for an hour. Now there will be a nice human foot broth made from happy humans! They happier the better, so i would suggest getting a couple on their honey moon, this will also ensure that you will have enough feet to last you a while, and with both dead it is easier to cover up as an accident, no spouses being all sad because their loved one is dead. I personally keep a whole stock of human feet in my freezer downstairs, they seem to be the most often left over from the bodies, so I decided to give this recipe a try. Next you want to scoop the human feet out of the broth, at this point those little trotters might have fallen apart a bit so you will need a nice big spoon to scoop out all the big chunks. I love to keep the little chunks behind, it adds more flavor for the rest of the soup. Next I add cabbage, garlic, tomatoes, mushrooms and onions. I try to go with the stinkiest vegetables, because we want it to match the sweet sweet aroma of the human flesh after walking around in a sunny day, sweating, itching, and growing some forms of mold. Try to load up the soup with veggies, every cannibal needs to make sure they are getting their healthy dose of vitamins and there is no better way then with tons of veggies! Next it the fun part! Take those little stampers that you just scooped out of the soup and try to find all the meat inside and add it to the soup. Feet aren't the best source of meat so sometimes it is best to get some meat from other parts of the body as well to add. I like to add the nice plump juicy meat from the thigh you only need a few ounces, being that it is mostly to add more substance to the soup. Once you are done de-meating the feet, just take the bones, fatty tissue, skin and other connective bits and just throw them away. At this point any person looking through your trash would think they were just animal bones. And besides, if you have anyone looking through your trash you might want to add them to your collection in the basement. What? No collection in the basement just yet? Well that's okay, this can be the start! Now let that soup boil for a while once you have all your vegetables in, sit down, relax. Besides you have had a long day killing someone, sawing their feet off, storing the rest of the body. This is a nice introductory recipe for any cannibal, even if you are just flirting with the idea of cannibalism. It lets you know the flavor of the human meat without actually sinking your teeth into it. Think of it similar to those ramen dishes you can get for 25cents at the grocery store, I am sure no one really knows what oriental tastes like, but dammit they have a flavor of it! Now that your soup is done, get some noodles ready, pour the broth on top and enjoy! Now some people ask how to store human feet broth, but my friends it is no different from any other broth. Just put it in a plastic container, stick it in the fridge and save it for the next day. Of course since human feet are so fatty it will become a gelatin like substance the next day, but no worries! It is nothing that a little extra water and a microwave can't fix. The next day jelly like substance of human feet soup is the best! I love to use it as a dressing on top of my salad, or even have it as a dessert. A great midnight snack is human feet stew jelly. Well my friends, I hope this human feet stew recipe has been helpful for you all. Please stay tuned and I may post more if a new recipe comes to me. post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]